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  • waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
  • waitress: sir please stop crying

joydick:

"you dont look gay though"
SHIT did I forget my rainbow at home AGAIN

notchicken:

Is this Brokeback Mountain

ask-koki-kariya:

lastofthetimeladies:

im-a-timelord-you-ass:

lastofthetimeladies:

lastofthetimeladies:

MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD

image

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?

Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party

Do you

omfg

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